Here Is Why Most Men Will Go For Singles with Kids
There are reasons most men will go for single ladies with a kid or two. According to whoever you ask, the sell value of single mothers is not that high like that of single ladies without a ‘burden’. It is problematic putting up with the latter who believes the whole world revolves round them and there is little a man can do a man can do other than curtsy or bow down before them like paying some homage to a goddess.
To please these types, men will go to such lengths as to break the banks in the name of winning their hearts. The crazy stuff men do to in name of getting the attention of the women (read singles with no kids) are not exaggerated - but at the end of the day, it these lovelorn are left as sore losers to contend with financial losses if they are not financially ruined by the time common sense prevails.
A tale of some few who claims to have been to hell and back in name of love will suffice to prove that indeed some singles, no matter how stunningly beautiful and irresistible they, are Satan’s agents right from pits of hell – and those are not my words!
Jose, a mid-twenties businessman in Nakuru, thought he had bagged a rare jewel in name of a college student and was willing to go any length to ensure she was his soul mate. He reminisces of their good time together before waves came crashing at low tide, that, by the time he was on his feet again, he had no idea what hit him.
He describes his then catch as a beauty divine hands must had taken great care forming the way she stood out from a crowd.
“The sight of any other man with her would have sent blood boiling in my veins. But she was a calculating lady whereas I was seen as her boyfriend, she was already in a serious relationship with a loaded old man who invariably was her sponsor,” he said.
He had ‘invested’ highly in her meeting many of her financial needs but she was exploiting him for her own benefits. By the time it became clear that he was being played on, especially upon his discovery that, apart from the sponsor, she was also in another relationship with another guy, their relationship was at all time low.
“She was a tactful gold digger keeping me at her arm’s length. When she realized I was heading towards financial bankruptcy, she slowly began withdrawing from me,” he said.
What lesson did he learn from this experience?
“These young singles are professional hookers who will use their looks as a bait to trap any man of means for their own benefits. They are sort of unsettled and not willing to settle in a serious marriage relationship at shortest of notice,” he said.
Jose, who is now courting a single mother of one, draws parallels between the college girl and his recent catch. “The problem with many young but childless singles is that they believe they are everything and any man showing an interest in them must be willing to pay the highest price. It is like their beauty is selling at an auction market and the one who bids the highest carries the day!” he said.
Nyasani, a matatu driver in Nakuru, and who is in his early thirties, had been through relationship shipwrecks. From his experience, single mothers would make good marriage materials than young, beautiful singles who are ‘problematic’ to live with.
His first marriage collapsed within a year and he moved on with another single lady but the second relationship didn’t work well. He met with a single mother of one and their relationship had been stable for the last two years.
“Some of these singles cannot dress up like married women. You wonder if they are going to keep their youthfulness to perpetuity. Where did they get this notion that the clothes they outgrew as kids are the fashion statement of today when they go around parading their half nudity with tumbo cuts and micro skirts?” he posed.
The first single he dated, he said, was always dressing like she was strutting her bare essentials on catwalks for all to see, and this was always the source of their tension. The man who said he was brought up under conservative religious beliefs, enforced orders on her but she chose not to follow his rule book.
When he first took her to visit his old folks, his mother almost went into a shock mode. The problem, he said, was how the then ex-wife was dressed. She was in heavy make-ups, many earrings, form fitting clothes that accentuated her curvaceous body and very dark fashionable eye lenses, which she never removed even in the house! This saw his mother questioning his choice and pressuring to get married to ‘a proper woman who dressed like a proper woman!’
He held on believing she would change with time but it was not to be. She called it quits six months in their marriage and it wasn’t without much drama that she left.
So what is his take of single women with kids?
“These types are somehow humble. They know their sell-by value is not that high as they are entering a relationship with a baggage or two unlike childless singles. They know no man worth his name is like to be saddled much looking after another man’s wild oats,” he said.
And there is a reason he married a single mother of one. The child is a girl and he opined matters would be different if the child is a boy. “Girls mature fast and leave the nest to begin families elsewhere. For boys, it is a different case. The son belongs to home and it becomes tricky in matters relating to inheritance. At times, the son may know you are not his biological father and can gang against you with his mother,” he said.
When this matter was put to Rahab, a single mother of two, she dismissed it offhandedly. “Let’s put the matter into perspective. There is nothing like single mothers in first place. It is the men who places women in such predicament and refuses to take responsibilities or commit to by marrying the women they put into family way out of wedlock,” she said.
She termed it as ‘nonsensical’ any single mother would be willing to marry any man who is ready to cater for her and her children because her value is lower. “This can happen out of desperateness if it amounts to lowering one’s values. As for me, I am happy with my kids after their fathers disowned them and I depend on no one for their upkeep,” she said.
She wondered what parameters were used to gauge the value of a childless single and that of a single mother. “You can find a single mother with a heart of gold but a childless one who may be direct from hell. It is wrong to judge a book by the cover!” she said.