Where Is The Last Macho Man?
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| courtesy photo |
That the
macho man of yesteryear is a wimp of today is incontestable. In name of gender
equality, the male voice had been lost in Babel of confusion. A typical man in
former days cut a fearful image that demanded total respect, submission and
obedience in his house. No one dared contradict or question his authority. When
he barked, everyone cringed. But today, the narrative is different. He is all
barks but no bite, or faking a pseudo-masculinity image when his wife
apparently has the upper hand. He cannot admit he is a hen-pecked or,
appropriately put, kaliwa chapati man.
From time
immemorial, the manliness or mettle of a male had been tested in different ways
by different societies on earth. Take some Kenyan societies for instance.
During Kikuyu circumcision rituals, the boys - soon to be men - would dip
themselves in freezing water early in morning, make a beeline to an ancient
looking circumciser, who, without much preamble, would pull the foreskin of a
penis, and without much ado, chop it out. Despite the danger of mischopping,
underchopping or overchopping one’s vital ‘appendage’, flinching or showing any
slightest hint of emotion was cowardly and frowned at. It mattered little if
one bled to death.
The Maasai,
on other hand, could be admired for the brevity in putting out daylights out of
roaming jungle cats in proving their ‘moranism’. Not omitting other Nilotic
tribes who had to prove they were real ‘warriors’ by driving in with stolen
livestock and women as war spoils.
Fast
forward. The brevity of a male is being tested in different ways. No man,
‘worth his name’, should show tenderness or release pent up emotions publicly.
Being emotional or gentle would see one labelled a ‘sissy’. And this is
what had made many men decline both physically and emotionally. Instances
abound where some men releases bottled up steam in a worse way. They simply
erupt like a Sumatran volcano leaving death and destruction in their wake. No
wonder some families had met tragic ends this way.
Sarah
Ndung’u, a mid-twenties lady in Nakuru, says ‘ideal men’ are lacking in our
society. She is yet to come across a ‘macho enough’ man as most she knows are
‘cry babies’.
“Show me a
macho enough man and I’ll tell you how he will end,” she says.
Males, who
are within her age bracket, are mommy boys who had been pampered by their
mothers and are ‘girlish’.
To her, a
macho man is one successful in all aspects of his life, treats a woman well and
respects them. Thus, she would not countenance the idea of moving on with a bloke
dude who still resides in his parent’s home.
Her views
are echoed by Carol, another millennial youth in the same cosmopolitan town.
Her ideal macho man is one who is able to provide for all the lady’s needs and
treat her like a queen.
But on the
subject of total submission to such a man, she believes it would be unfair,
especially as we are in the age of gender equality.
To some men,
the idea of machismo could as well be exaggerated as demands or expectations placed
on one are unrealistically.
“I don’t
care of what others say if I show emotions in public so long as I’m living my
life,” says Justus Mungai, a hawker.
He wonders
what purpose it serves for anyone to go to great extent just to prove their
manhood.
Another man,
who only gave his name as Kigo, observes that a man’s accomplishments are what
are used as yardsticks to measure his manliness.
“Playing by
expectations of others is the last thing I would do,” he says.
For very
strange reasons, men who at one time were towers of strength declines fast. A
look at elderly married couples attests this. In case where one spouse is dead,
it is always the male. In case where one spouse is infirm, your bet is as
better as mine. He is wheeled about, spoon-fed, washed and pampered by his
still healthy wife. What has changed?
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